Let your past make you better not bitter.
I guess I lied in my last personal post when I said it was probably one of the few you’ll get. A pretty big life event happened, it’s both good and bad. Bad because I was hurt by people I loved and cared for. Good because it opened my eyes to important realizations. Yes, I was bitter for the first day or so but now I know I’m above that. Actually, I’m definitely waaaay better than that. It’s gonna be a rough road ahead trying to ‘cleanse’ my life of the bits of bitterness that may emerge but I really see myself going onto better things from here.
I’ve learned that negativity will always be around, it even exists in people that should never have been a part of the situation in the first place. But I understand the need to vent to others, venting to people that will take your side no matter what is always a good feeling. I mean, the people I vent to rarely get directly involved but to each their own. I’ve grown to respect that, maybe now more than the other times.
I’ve gone to hell and back; I’d say this is the third time I’d have to fight these demons in different ways and I’ve gone through it. I mean in this case, I ran almost 3 days without sleep, probably ate one whole meal each day and barely smiled. As the days go by, I find ways to cope: the gym is and will ALWAYS be my sanctuary, there’s also surrounding myself with good company (my future bride’s men…not bridesmaids) and my beautiful dog! I guess “I’m saving my 10” (Fault in Our Stars reference), for something that will hurt the most. One thing I’m sure of is, I will not let this ruin what I had and what I was building towards. We can only go up from here and I’m pretty excited. There’s already a lot to look forward to.
Side note: Defs working towards the greatest shape I’ve ever been in for my next vacation (which isn’t TOO far away!), that’ll keep me busy. And yes, I will PROUDLY strut my stuff cuz I deserve to after all the work I’m planning on putting in. I already know that my hair, smile and legs are my greatest assets, now it’s time to get everything onto their level. Just working towards better things.